Saturday, October 19, 2013

Openness, stigma, understanding and confidentiality

When we first toddled up to the CAMHS waiting room and were squeezed with the other six families into the tiny waiting room, on the peeling walls there was a poster from the Eating Disorders Association (now known as BEAT) with a picture very like this one. The picture and the accompanying slogan which encouraged young people to talk about their problems with eating made it clear - people with eating disorders are quiet, reserved souls and the illness will make them even quieter. As our situation was somewhat different, the poster, and the automatic assumption at first by the professionals that the poster was correct, was REALLY annoying.

All that doesn't mean that as a family we're open and honest and can talk about anything. Far from it. While I am genuinely happy standing on a stage talking to strangers about FEAST and BEAT and am going to do everything I can to promote Charlotte's Helix talking to therapists or medics about the subject we were being herded into the waiting room for in the first place usually ends in tears and unfortunately they are mine not the therapists'. We never did acquire the skills needed for family therapy. This thread has interested and comforted me. There are others about who feel the same.

Friday, October 18, 2013

no health in us

"ALMIGHTIE and most merciful father, we have erred and straied from thy waies, lyke lost shepee we have folowed to much the devises and desires of our owne hartes. We have offended against thy holy lawes: We have left undone those thinges whiche we ought to have done, and we have done those thinges which we ought not to have done, and there is no health in us"

It's always struck me that it's those "thinges" (love it) which we ought to have done but which are left undone that come before the naughty thinges which we HAVE done. I'm usually far too busy doing nothing, or rushing from pillar to post in a fury of busyness which amounts to the same thing, to commit any truly terrible sins. But oh, the many many many things which I should have done that I haven't....

I should have contributed to a newsletter which is going out at the end of the month, by 11th. I should have written back to a dissertation student who asked for my help. I should have written down the dates of the meeting that I agreed to attend next week and as I haven't it'll become one of the thinges that will be left undone whenever it was that I was supposed to do it, and that's just the first three emails in my in box. 

I have no real excuses. I've been busy at work. We've all been busy at work. Work is supposed to be a "health and social care" environment. T'is pity then that we're collectively pretty awful and achieving a healthy environment at work. Even if everyone else was though, I'd still find something to rush about and do busily busily busily. Maybe it's because I get distracted by those terrible thinges and spend the rest of the prayer trying to remember what they were, instead of going on to the next bit

but thou, O Lorde, have mercy upon us miserable offendours. Spare thou them O God, whiche confesse their faultes. Restore thou them that be penitent, accordyng to thy promises declared unto mankynde, in Christe Jesu our Lorde. And graunt, O most merciful father, for his sake, that we may hereafter lyve a godly, ryghtuous, and sobre life, to the glory of thy holy name.

So, if you asked me to do something and I happily agreed and then did sod all about it - I'M SORRY. I will TRY to only agree if I really think that I can do it, and to put it in my diary if I do. It's probably just as well though that history ensured that if I get round to it I also get the chance to ask forgiveness daily because there are bound to be more thinges tomorrow.

Saturday, October 12, 2013


I have a new button, posting you to Charlotte's Helix. I plan to do a bit more than just add a button, but for now it's a very nice button I hope you agree.